AMNIOTIC
by Annie Christ
Summary: He quit asking questions, never knew what they put been in those government syringes, and didn't realize recovering from the traumas of never being in love would take witnessing the birth of an unwanted life.


**AMNIOTIC**

**1 of 2**

* * *

**I.**

Saix and Axel accepted their life's inevitability when their names were swapped for the aforementioned aliases. They rang well. They chimed diligently, unlike the titles sliced from their birth certificates like pigs driven toward a slaughterhouse. Identity meats hooked upside down, filleted open so blood could channel, and the _drip drip drip_ of copper had slithered toward a drain without apology beside the frothy blood that steamed in cold and bubbled while oxygen drifted throughout was a pile of organs. These vitals were the retentions of normality. They were the briny existences Axel's mother had forced through a cut and Saix's mother had lost her life to. Everyone could see their ribcages and the meat clasped between their branches. The apologies in each vein, the regrets clamped behind thoraxes, and realities locked in bone marrow.

They were figuratively under lock and key, which was more of a blessing than malfunction considering their occupations.

Axel had been found at thirteen years old with a remote settled on his upper-thigh and a hand rolled cigarette between his teeth. He was concentrating on the schematics chalked onto blue paper to his left and discerning the the wiring he had strung along a house in the abandoned military base. There was a maniac cackle, a fleeting moment of thumbs running along the top of his controller and then the kind of explosion that forced his hair back like a passing breeze. Johnson's No More Tangles Detangler Spray couldn't tame his locks and his general appearance licked upward like the flames of the burning house. Saix, who technically wasn't Saix at that point in their lives, had appeared behind him and knelt down to blankly stare at the destruction in front of them. There were no shared words and Axel turned to grin. He was proud of himself while Saix was internally exasperated but impressed enough not to mention the mess.

"There's someone here for us." Saix was matter-of-fact. His methods of speech were always overtly informative with just a hint of vexation that could carry amusement when the moon was waning under the right stars. "He's important and he wants to talk to us."

Axel scrunched up his nose and the ash from his cherry fell on top of his hand. He yelped, whipped his fingers and rubbed the burn. When he spoke it was from the corner of his mouth with a New Jersey accent. "Important, huh? Who is it? We in trouble, again?"

"He said his name is Xemnas. He knew my mother."

**II.**

They stood beside one another on top of an apartment building that overlooked South Korea's Seoul. Before them was the Namsan Tower looming over a cityscape that bled into the sunset like watercolors. Narrowed eyes and bodies clad in the kind of material Axel claimed left his skin smelling like a gargantuan condom; he was twenty years old and Saix was only a couple months his junior. Axel was docile as they waited in silence kept together by a lick and a promise. Axel was gabby, which contrasted with Saix's disinterest in most conversations. At the moment Axel grew more and more impatient as they waited for their assignment to drift by. It was a young girl with baby blues and bright red hair who would be wearing ballet flats and a pink sundress.

"What a sore thumb," was all Axel had said about the girl upon being handed the photograph. "I'm not going to question how she's dangerous, but she's taking the walking target thing too literally."

Saix had snatched the glossy picture back. "She isn't dangerous."

An objective opinion, truly, but Axel wasn't going to interrogate Saix when it was the difference between him and a paycheck. Instead, he rolled his shoulders with a foot perched on top of the safeguard railing and there he settled like a starving hawk. Waiting was the worst part, and with a sniper in his left hand and gum rolling between molars he knew he would spot her first. Long ago he had forgone the ability to regret assassination. Sometimes he wondered if his victims had lovers, aspirations, and dreams, but they were as fleeting as walking by a bar with live music. The curiosity had a volume dial he had been trained to turn down whenever the questions grew too loud. Distraction was dangerous. Distraction could land him with a bullet embedded in his throat.

He spotted the target who was surrounded by friends. Girls with sleek black hair curled as much as gravity would allow and their eyes were peeled back by cosmetic glue meant to grapple at the western face. Axel had never understood the enchantment the South Korean youth had with the states, but he was also from the armpit of his country so his opinion was bleakly biased. Wordlessly, he scooped up his gun that had been rubbed matte. The paint job was what kept the sun from reflecting, and as he settled it on his shoulder and peered through the sight with both green eyes lit open Saix lowered himself with a headset activated and touchscreen tablet in hand. Axel's adrenaline was pumping and waiting on Saix's word was making his guts burn.

"Not before I say." Saix spoke monotonously and Axel's peripheral vision was picking up the way his fingers rapidly stroked the screen. "This has to be clean. The ramifications for hitting a civilian will be unpitying."

"Don't talk to me like I haven't been doing this for five fucking years. I'll ramify your ass." Spoken with a smile, Axel dragged his tongue along his bottom lip. "Hurry up. I've had her locked in thrice now."

The nameless target who'd been given numbers instead of letters was laughing. Happiness squealed across her face and left tire marks. She was either in high school or fresh into her first year of university, and Axel sometimes envied the simpler lifestyle. Going to college had never been on his agenda because of his military brat dream. He had wanted to live what he'd grown up in, but that had faded with his introduction to Xemnas. In that moment, the anticipation left him breathless, and he sniffed back before rolling his jaw. Saix was taking too long. He was going to lose her, and then it would be on Saix's ass not his.

"Now."

Jade eyes widened significantly, and he sucked in an invigorated breath before curling one gloved finger. It was instantaneous. One second the girl's throat was emitting a sweet laugh and the next there was a bullet tearing through her skull and brain matter. Her head combusted like fairy dust and blood and humanity sprinkled over her friends in a tender spray Axel knew to be warm. At first, her friends were stunned but then there were blood curdling screams that attracted the attention of everyone within a five mile radius. There wasn't even a tongue left on the corpse, and Axel wordlessly shifted the gun off his shoulder before turning toward Saix with a childish smile.

"Clean enough?"

His eyes remained focused on the screen, "as clean as you're capable of making it."

**III.**

They kissed under a magnolia tree that hunched over an iron rod fence. At twelve years old, neither Saix nor Axel knew what they were doing but they pretended. They liked to think they pretended well even though, when they were done, Axel wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and Saix scrunched his nose unappreciatively at the mess. It was a muggy Alabama day in the beginning of spring and their t-shirts were soaked in sweat. Fabric clung to bodies sighed on by testosterone, but their final stage of boyhood still possessed its temporary prettiness. One more year and they would be gangly limbs, discovering wiry pubic hairs, and wondering why even the most generous sprays of Axe wouldn't cover up the stench of body odor. Then, though, they were blissfully unaware of adulthood. Axel had sworn the kisses were just for practice, but they did it again, and again and again.

Tinges of understanding were embedded somewhere. The clumsy fingertips scraping along sodden fabric and the occasional attempt to touch tongues, it was the innocent childishness echoing between them. When they finished, Axel couldn't make sense of the stickiness in his guts. It had nothing to do with desire, but it was a filmy guilt coating his stomach. Sometimes he wanted to ask Saix if his stomach hurt too. In the end however, the need to keep his best friend by his side outweighed not wanting to feel alone in his turmoil. Saix was the only friend Axel had on base.

Every day after school they met beneath the same tree with its heavy white flowers and plastic leaves. When the seasons changed from unbearably hot to bitter Axel still stood there with Saix. The kissing morphed from curiosity to the kind of unspoken frustration that scorched Axel's throat. He clung, fingers digging into a cloudy blue mess of hair and sometimes he tugged without knowing why he was angry. He bit onto chapped lips, pushed hands along Saix's hips because his mom watched Original Lifetime Movies and that was what the grownups did on screen. It surprised him when Saix tugged back and sometimes he made Axel's lips bleed. Nails had left behind crescent moon shapes on his skin more than once, and whenever they pulled apart breathless and not looking at one another Axel was furious. Saix never said a word, and it made him want to eat the skin off his knuckles.

When Axel's mother would ask about his puffy bottom lip he would say he had gotten into a fight. She'd ask if he had won. It was always a draw.

**IV.**

For someone with spidery legs Axel could run with swanlike grace. Breath sucked tight through clenched teeth before tearing out of nostrils as he kicked his booted foot into a chain link fence and hooked fingers around metal. The climbing was a matter of three stretches before he gripped onto barbwire with bare hands and managed to throw himself over. His shoulder smacked against loose dirt as he hit the ground and a cloud puffed out beneath him before he rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up. Barking resounded around him and he fumbled for the remote in the bag bouncing against his hip. It was a wonder Axel hadn't crushed it during the landing. He was yet to develop the seamless tact he would eventually be known for.

His forehead was damp as he skid to a halt and rolled beneath a bush. He was sixteen, but somehow, he remembered being thirteen again. He remembered that and he remembered the night before when he had asked Saix if he wanted to kiss. He remembered being told no. He remembered slamming Saix against a wall and walking away with his fingernails digging into his palm. He remembered wishing he had hit Saix and then regretting ever wanting to. Axel wished he couldn't remember, but he did. He remembered everything.

"_No."_

He had wanted to ask _why_. Axel always wanted to ask Saix things. That didn't matter, then. He was going to be a feast for a pack of dogs if they managed to dig beneath the fence, but he couldn't help himself. Already the owner of the house was waking up, and as Axel worked to make sure the settings were correct on the controller's two inch by two inch screen, his vision blurred. Finally, after using the back of his wrist to wipe away the accumulating tears he pushed the green button on the remote's center and the earth shook. A Victorian house ripping to shreds resonated around him and distracted the howling dogs. His target along with its entire family had been crisped.

Axel rolled over onto his side to sweep his hands over his face and let out a childlike sob. His throat rasped and he cradled the remote against his chest like a stuffed toy before streaking dirt along his faintly freckled nose. A weight had been set on him, and he attempted to see the moon through the tree's swaying branches.

They had been practicing.

**V.**

_This is growing up._

He told himself that as the divide grew the way water erodes riverbeds. Sometimes they passed one another within the halls of the Organization's headquarters and they stilled. It was a strange acknowledgement of one another that was full frontal in the way they stripped emotional skins and spread the legs of their knowingness. Words didn't have to be spoken in those tense moments where Axel was biting back fury and Saix was disconnected. Axel's face always ached. It seared and the final layer of his epidermis stung as if wind burn had rubbed it cold and raw. His lungs ached, gloved hands shook, and his molars ground together to make pixie dust.

"What did I ever do to you?" Axel asked. Finally, after years of consuming silence and near subordination he had parted his lips and breathed out the question at seventeen. "I didn't do anything to you."

Words fell from the corner of his mouth. One hand was occupied with the sack of greasy fast food he had sought out after spending three hours burning hundreds of calories, and the other was settled low on his bare hip. His own fingers slid along his revealed hipbone because he had to anchor into himself. This was his flesh; it was his and as long as he kept himself aware with nail pricks and even breathing, then this confrontation would be less upsetting. Saix sat before him with paperwork lying out. He had really grown into quite the keeper of manila folders, and he didn't bat an eyelid. It was stone cold disregard that frosted Axel's teeth and made him want to scream from annoyance as his enamel fissured toward his gums. They had been friends. He hadn't imagined it.

"You did nothing."

It was that simple for Saix.

Axel slammed the food onto one of the manila folders and the paper bag left greasy blotches on Saix's paper work that stained like freckles. He leaned forward, tilted his head and his lips pulled back from white braces corrected teeth as he fell into the beat of a snarl. He shifted his shoulders and had to remind himself he couldn't choke Saix dead without suffering inconceivable consequences. Xemnas valued him too much no matter where everyone was supposedly ranked along the string of numbers. Axel was number behind Saix. There wasn't room for a power play.

His breath fanned out against Saix's face as he spoke. "I don't know what you're playing at, but this isn't going to settle. I won't let this go."

Saix wasn't moved. "Then you're subjecting yourself to your own anguish, and that's no one's fault but your own."

The man's glare could've cut Venetian glass, and Axel's control snapped like a severed brain stem. There was a mental hiccup followed by him gripping the oaken table Saix had been seated at, and he tossed it to the side as if it were molded out of Styrofoam. Papers and packages of ketchup landed on the hardwood flooring with a dead thud and he flitted toward Saix with catlike grace. He shifted downward and tilted his head like an owl while shooting him a stare that was intense and laced with inhuman rage. Axel wanted to twist his head, snap his neck with an ending crunch and let the ache stop plaguing him, but he knew nothing would change even if he killed the man. He'd just end up beaten to a pulp and dumped in the nearest bin of acid.

Saix slid back in his chair with a rapid kick of booted feet and when the chair threatened to stop he was on the souls of his shoes running toward Axel. The sound of boots rapidly smacking against wood flooring echoed and Axel was more than prepared to meet the abnormal strength of his kick with his bare forearm. The brunt of the hit caused him to hiss and he was forced to rapidly meet another hit—this time Saix's fist—with his arm again. The fight was void of real malicious intent, and when the two men found themselves locked in the second impact they shared eye contact that was slated by thin sheets of ice. Axel wanted to shake him and scream until his throat grew raw but instead he gave the man a finalizing narrow of his eyes before ripping his hand down and turning to stride for the exit. His hips shifted, and he caught a brief sight of Demyx, who was snickering in the hall, and jogged upstairs.

**VI. **

They were thirteen and seated on a gurney side by side. Axel vaguely remembered glancing over at Saix whose blown open pupils had absorbed nearly the entirety of his irises. He opened his mouth to ask his best friend if he was going to puke too but his vocal cords seemed disconnected from his lips so he only exhaled. Around them were the doctors Xemnas had promised would take good care of the both of them, and after being placed beneath masks that had fed him what the doctors had called 'happy gas' he had started to believe he could trust the man's word. The doctors were murmuring amongst themselves in their black lab coats, but Axel couldn't understand what was being said. He did see the chrome tray with the syringes, though. He had always hated shots, but Saix had once fought a doctor, ran from the health department and walked all the way home upon seeing needles.

Saix apparently had seen them too because he shakily reached over and grasped for Axel's fingers that were too cold due to his blood sugar dropping. Apparently, Saix was weaker than him in that moment, because as he moved his fingers as if he wanted to squeeze Axel's hand, it was too much effort. That was why Axel mustered up all of the energy he could and struggled to lace their fingers. It was as if his fingers were paralyzed and the sudden urgency to force them to function was incredible. He couldn't remember how to make the digits move and he was desperate because he had to be there for Saix. If he couldn't help his best friend the only way he knew how, then nothing would be right with himself again. Axel would never forgive himself. They were scared, and he didn't want Saix to be scared all alone.

The tray with the syringes containing their devious black liquid was raised and Axel wondered why his mother had let Xemnas take him away. Saix's father had handed him over too willingly, but that was because Saix looked just like his mother and everyone knew he resented his son for killing her. Saix had told Axel this more than once, but he had seemed unaffected. Suddenly, tears welled up in Axel's eyes and his vision blurred even more, but he could still feel Saix's fingertips weakly twitching on top of his upturned hand. He couldn't move. He couldn't be there for Saix and he managed to blink free the tears of frustration because something wasn't right. He didn't know what but what was happening had to be wrong because no one had told them anything. He wanted to go home.

Tears dripped freely down Axel's face, and he wondered why the internal mess within him was suddenly swaddled by what felt like a blanket fresh from the dryer. It sharply contrasted with the disdain that followed when the syringes disappeared from his view. Saix was first, and Axel knew it was all said and done when his friend's fingers finally stopped twitching. They halted, went completely limp and then Axel was next in line. He wanted to scream and run. He could've grabbed Saix's hand and dragged him along the path toward the clinic's apartment, but his nerves were shot and someone had frosted his cerebellum. Axel attempted to bite his tongue; do anything that would make the doctor stop when he stepped over with that syringe, but he couldn't. _He just couldn't._

They woke up on hospital beds within minutes of each other.

Axel was the first to speak, "do you remember anything?"

Saix was on his side curled up staring at the bed's railing, "no."

**VIII.**

Axel received the assignment to steal a pregnant woman's fetus the exact same day Saix appeared in his doorway with a bloodied X slashed across his face. Axel had been starring at his assignment's documents with a furrowed brow while seated on his bed only to pop up his head when Saix's frame grazed his peripheral vision. The man sputtered words, but they were muffled as blood drained across his lips and speckled the floor with every shaky exhale the man gave off. They were twenty-two, and Axel had been attempting to weasel early retirement onto Xemnas. His newest mission had locked him in for another six months, and he knew he wasn't going to be let go until his boss' appetite was sated. Looking at Saix's severely injured face; he suddenly realized that would be never.

Axel shoved his papers aside and stood up to swipe a towel off his desk. It was still damp from his shower, but he figured it would do until he could get the man to the infirmary. "You pissed someone off. What the hell did you _do_? Couldn't have been Larxene, not Zexion—no one would fuck with you except…"

Though Saix didn't say anything, Axel was more than certain he knew who'd sliced his face. He stopped for a moment and stared at Saix, who was still panting, before guiding him down the hall toward Vexen's office. He needed sutures. Many, in fact, and Axel decided he could sit there beside the man during the process. It was the least he could do for Saix after having his face torn open.

They stepped through white overly sanitized hallways together and Axel wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't remember ever being lost for words, but it was different then. After all, it had been four years since either of them had shared friendly words that weren't solely professional acknowledgements. The last time being when Axel's mother had died in a house fire.

She had been dead for two weeks before Xemnas handed him the letter because Axel had been in Liberia doing Xemnas' bidding. Upon finding out he had collapsed onto a single knee with the letter pressed against his temple and his hand shielding his eyes. She had been his only link to normalcy, and just like that she was gone. That night he had lost his mind because he was only eighteen years old and she had been his only family. Child abandonment set in and he had only then realized just because he was legally an adult didn't mean he was mentally. He was scared, suddenly completely alone, and he would never feel his mother's reassuring embrace he had more than once brushed off with a sigh because he was _too cool_ for any of that.

"_My big man, too old for momma's kisses."_

"_God, Mom, spare me."_

He'd truthfully loved everything about her affection because it was the only kind he'd trusted.

"I hate this fucking place." Axel was seated on his bed with the letter in hand and hanging between his knees. His eyes had long since turned blood shot and he was still having a difficult time breathing properly. Talking was nothing but weak willed stutter accompanied by sharp sobs. "I'm leaving. I'm going to fucking leave and then kill Xemnas. I missed my mom's fucking funeral! I talked to her right before I left!"

The letter combusted into flames between his fingers and burning paper dropped to the floor and slowly curled in on itself. Axel released a noise of frustrated rage he hiccupped on only for Saix to interrupt his grieving with classically chilled words. The man was seated at Axel's desk, which was really just a place he stacked his laundry.

"Do you want to drink?"

Axel blinked and stared at Saix for a minute. "_What_?"

"You need to drink."

His words remained even, and he stood up without another word and disappeared. He returned with a fifth of whiskey he stole from Xigbar's room, and Saix handed it over to Axel. As big as Axel liked to talk, he didn't have much experience with drinking, but he uncapped the black labeled bottle and stared at the amber liquid. Xigbar had once said his whiskey was the only way he tolerated living with all of them, and with hopeful thoughts in tow Axel tipped back the bottle and sucked down a quick shot that turned his chest into napalm. He shivered, coughed and offered the bottle to Saix who stared blankly before taking the bottle off his hands.

Neither of them had ever drunk much, actually. This became obvious when the bottle was two thirds of the way down forgotten on the desk and Axel was on his back with Saix hovering over him trying to shove his tongue down the other man's throat. Axel had lost his virginity to Larxene and it had been terrible solely because she criticized his every move he'd made.

"_Wow this would be great if you actually knew how to use that huge dick of yours."_

"_Axel, do you even know what a clit is?"_

"_Jesus, you better thank me for teaching you how to do this."_

It hadn't been the most scrapbook worthy of moments, but blindly attempting to tug Saix's shirt over his head without stopping the meshing of lips was less painful than coercing Larxene into any kind of fuck. He suddenly realized he had no idea how gay sex worked aside from what he had seen in porn, but he decided they would figure it out because in their inebriated states that was the only end in sight for their make out session.

Saix fucked Axel through the entire first week of his mourning. On paperwork, after lunch in the courtyard where he was pretty sure Demyx had spotted them due to the looks he gave during dinner, over Saix's desk Axel accidentally smeared cum on, on Axel's sink that Saix nearly slipped off of because Axel forgot to wipe after washing his hands, and then in a closet because God forbid Axel walk the extra fifty feet to his bedroom. It was messy and experimental all while tinged with the desperate yearning when they kissed hard and tugged at each other's hair with fisted fingers. Sometimes Axel found himself on his back, sometimes he got Saix on all fours, but most of the time he was seated on top of the man with his hands flat on the man's chest and rolling hips.

He made Axel laugh with his clipped observations that were meant to be dry, but Axel could never take him completely serious, and for a single week Axel had been in love. He'd been so deeply in love with Saix that more than once he had contemplated bleeding out the confessions after sucking his dick or being fingered to the point of sobbing. He would've done anything Saix asked of him because he was _it_. No one else had extended warmth during his ultimate low. But it was only a week because as quickly as it had come it had ended on Saix's cold shouldered terms. Without a word he had stopped approaching Axel as if nothing had happened, and for some reason, Axel hadn't asked. He wasn't sure why, but then again, he had never been very good at questioning Saix.

This was all why Axel sat with Saix as his face was stitched back to the most normal it could ever be again. He somewhat laughed and without thinking grasped onto Saix's hand and laced their gloved fingers. Saix's face was being injected with morphine and for someone who'd once taken a bullet to his torso he really couldn't handle the needles. Saix didn't shove Axel off and Vexen didn't ask questions, but he gave them both disapproving looks Axel would've loved to burn off his face. Really, he could have, but he didn't want to end up in the same state as Saix.

When they returned to Saix's room Axel leaned against the door. He watched the other man take a seat on his bed, and that was when he had to ask again. "What happened?"

"None of your business."

Axel raised both hands in surrender before stepping out into the hall. "_Right_."

**IX.**

The redhead spent six months of his life stalking a pregnant woman. He learned her routine, where she worked, the dynamics between her family and friends. He knew what brand of milk she drank, how religiously she took her prenatal vitamins, and he knew she lived completely alone. She was expecting, but Axel didn't even know what because she apparently didn't either. All she bought were gender neutral colors for the nursery, and she never attended any kind of baby shower. When her friends had attempted to hold one for her she had declined as politely as possible and continued eating her delivery Chinese food. Only once did Axel ask Xemnas about the fetus' father, and he had waved Axel off. It wasn't important, and why did it even matter?

There was something remarkable about watching the woman go through the stages of her pregnancy all alone. Some nights, when she was curled up on the couch alone with just her pint of ice cream and her cable television Axel wondered if she was lonely. He was sure she was, because occasionally she sat on her front porch and cried into her hands when the neighbors were nowhere to be seen. Her sniffles were small and the closer she came to being full term the frequenter the tearful spells became. Had Axel been normal then he would've met her in a coffee shop and spoken to her like she deserved the world. She was young, blond and beautiful with blue eyes he could've sworn were capable of stealing the sky. He didn't know her name, but he'd memorized her number. She was this year's thirteen and her baby would be too. God, Axel wished he could've done something.

A sunset devoured the horizon on the day Axel knew he was going to have to take that baby from her womb. She had purchased a couple bags worth of groceries and waddled her way home. The girl didn't have a car and she was too big to ride a bike without struggling, so she had walked with pepper spray on her key ring and a gun in her purse. Axel figured she didn't even know how to use it, and when he silently slipped through the window of the kitchen he had peered into more than once, he made his way through the dimmed living room. He could hear the nameless woman's annoyed grunts of frustration. She was overdue and it had been driving her insane. For the past two days she had paced through her house, sobbed on the couch, and more than once struggled to pee.

Again, he genuinely felt bad for her but not bad enough not to do his job. Axel decided he could make it quick. It was why he wordlessly stepped up behind her, slit her throat with the expected drainage of blood, and slowly lowered her down onto the carpet. Settled at his hip was a bag, and he had approximately five minutes to sanitize himself, set out his equipment, rip into her lifeless body and extract the newborn. Without saying, the job was gruesome. There was skin slit, organs disengaged, and when he carefully reached the human barrier with the child enclosed his heart began to slam against his ribcage. Emerald eyes widened as he took in a sharp breath because amongst the sea of muscles, organs and translucent fats there was another human being ready to breathe.

The tissues of the uterus were carefully sliced through and Axel reached over in order to extract the proper tools meant to suction out amniotic fluids. Hurriedly setting aside the instruments once the uterus had been somewhat drained, he suddenly reached into the still warm body only to find himself grasping for the shoulders of the soon-to-be born child. He had fought Xemnas to switch him out with the medically experienced Vexen, but Xemnas wouldn't be rational, and Axel expected him to fail because of it. He anticipated holding onto a dead infant the second he pulled the frame from its mother's body, but something entirely different happened. When the head was freed from the confines of the mother, Axel forgot how to breathe.

"Oh my God."

The sharp wail that filled the bedroom shook Axel. He stared at the bloodied and slick face of the newborn. Small; it was so small with a button nose, squinty eyes refusing to see light and the little human had such an impossible realness. Never before had he seen another being clearer. He noted the tiny lips that parted to release an incredible noise that was a symbolic part of life, and though Axel was stunned he knew he had to lift the child the rest of the way. He soon realized the newborn was a boy, and for some reason Axel found himself laughing as he began to hurriedly suction out the residual gunk from his nose and mouth. The man could hardly identify the sensation coursing through him, but it was airy. He was light headed from the unbelievable euphoria that was the creation of human life, and he was having a hard time steadying his breathing.

Axel cut the cord, swaddled the child in a black blanket, and stared for several seconds as the baby continued to angrily cry with tightly clenched fists. He clearly wasn't appreciating his transition into this new bright world where things weren't half as warm and safe. Axel didn't know the first thing about children, but he had read enough to understand he had to get the tiny boy dressed and fed. The would-be mother had prepared for the child even if the situation hadn't been ideal. Once he figured out the mechanics of the ever abstract diaper he carefully placed the baby into the even more confusing set of clothes he had been provided and made his way to the kitchen. There were containers of formula stacked along the countertop, and Axel was terrified because he didn't know if babies immediately nursed or if the child was really okay. Could he be sick, were his vitals healthy? He had no idea what to do next. There seemed to be too much gap room between right then and him returning to headquarters where the child could be examined by a doctor. The immediacy was unsettling, and he was afraid for the child's wellbeing.

"Roxas…" He said the name suddenly while peering down at the subtle squirming bundle. "That's you."

He fed Roxas his first bottle, and blindly fell in love all at once. In a matter of hours he had packed up the child's necessities and figured out the mechanics of a car seat. Soon enough he walked out of the cramped house for good with Roxas fast asleep in his green car seat with giraffe heads on the straps. He loaded up the backseat with the baby, birthing supplies and diaper bag. It wasn't until he was cruising away from the scene in one of the company cars did the house combust into a thousand pieces with a simple snap of his gloved fingers.

**X.**

"You can't fish worth crap." Axel was standing on the rotting pier alongside the fellow twelve year old Saix. He cast out his line and stared at the bobber with all the determination in the world. "Just watch this!"

Knowing it would dig under his skin, Saix turned his head to Axel instead of the rod so that he could stare at him expectantly. When nothing happened for nearly five minutes he began laughing at his friend's poor attempt before returning his attention to the murky water that was everything but the clear blue he'd seen in one of his issues of National Geographic.

Axel snarled some but finally laughed. "It's the fish. Not me."

"I didn't say a word." He tilted his head somewhat, eyes closed and he was smiling. "Not a single…"

"Yeah, so why do you do that?" Axel reeled in with a squint. "Never say anything, I mean?"

Saix stood there for a moment, as if shocked Axel had asked him anything with merit. He furrowed his brow for a moment and crossed his arms. A fish nibbled at the surface as if it needed to gasp for air—of all things—and disappeared beneath the murky green clouds once again. Axel groaned at the lost opportunity, but he was still waiting for him to answer. Saix could tell by the subtle side glances and lack of topic transition. He wasn't going to get away from Axel's curiosity, and he wasn't all that bothered, even though he wished he knew what to say to the redhead and make it honest. He really was confused.

"I say enough." Wise beyond his years, Saix watched as Axel cast out again. "Enough to get the point across…"

Exasperated, Axel was full of questions. "Why do you always know what to say?"

"Because I think…"

That was when his expression dropped and he turned toward to completely face Saix. "So, you think I'm stupid?"

"I never said that, but if you ask another question I might bust a blood vessel."

Axel squinted at him for several seconds and turned toward the river. He was suddenly self-conscious. Maybe he asked too many questions. He hoped that wasn't the case, because if so then one day Saix might just leave and stop being his friend. He couldn't imagine his life without Saix, even though they'd only been friends for a few months. In the back of his mind he planted a small seed. He decided that from then on he would try to be less annoying and ask fewer questions. As long as he watched himself, then things would be okay. They would always be okay.

"I don't want to fish anymore." Axel took off his shirt and stared at it for a moment with pursed lips. "Let's go get ice cream. If anyone asks I caught a huge fish, but put it back because I don't like bragging."

Saix rolled his eyes with a smile and picked up Axel's pail of minnows. Walking back to the house he silently listened to Axel gab about all the other fish he had once caught, and Saix knew most of the stories weren't true, but he didn't mind. Not only because it was entertaining, but he had gotten good at finding the truths in Axel's stories and warping them into the main focus of conversation.

"Isa," Axel suddenly stopped and threw his arm around Saix's shoulders. "You're the best friend I could ever ask for, buddy."

His knees buckled somewhat, but Saix exhaled in good humor. "You too, Lea."


End file.
